Feb. 14th, 2006

onefixedstar: (sandmanweber)
What is it about late nights that lets me focus?

I meant to do work today. I wanted to do work today. Now admittedly, I got a late start on the trying-to-do-work because I stayed up until 3:30am (which cut out my morning) and then went to get my hair cut (which cut out my early afternoon), but I was in my seat by 4:00, computer on my lap, ready to work. And I didn't. I couldn't decide what to do. I couldn't focus. I couldn't get stuff done. And so I sat here and surfed around aimlessly, not particularly interested in anything I was reading, but unable to do any real work and unwilling to give up altogether. I swear, I tried. I wouldn't let myself step away from the computer. I refused to get up even to eat, which led to eating my first and only real meal of the day at 8:00pm. (I had a pear and a chocolate bar earlier.) Even so, hours came and hours went and the work remained undone. And then 11:00 hit, and all of a sudden, I was productive. Code a blog? Sure! Write the one-page summary that I've been putting off for two weeks? Sure! Suddenly, I'm calm and relaxed and focused. No more anxiety, no more brain running every which way. Just ready to work. This is a common phenomenon for me. It's one of the reasons I end up staying up all night, even at age 29. But I don't understand it.

I could probably work for another hour or two until fatigue overtook me. Unfortunately, I have a meeting at noon tomorrow, which means that I need to get to bed now. Too bad. There's still so much work to do.


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